in the last couple of years, i’ve learned SO MUCH about boundaries and the importance of having them. boundaries in my relationships of all types (lovers, friendships, work life, etc.) have helped me grow immensely and kept my mental state healthy.
so, what are boundaries? does that word scare you? are you worried that setting your own will make you seem selfish or closed off to the people in your life? you shouldn’t be. boundaries help bring us together! they’re simply healthy rules set for the different types of relationships we have in our lives.
how to define your own boundaries:
first, think about what is important to you and what your values are! then answer these 3 short sentence prompts to help you even further:
- People may not _____. (my personal example: People may not expect me to constantly drive us everywhere and pay for every meal or event.)
- I have the right to ____. (my example: I have the right to ask for my space and alone time.)
- To protect my wellbeing, it’s okay to ____. (my example: To protect my wellbeing, it’s okay to say no.)
once you have set your boundaries, communicate them with others! use “I feel” and “I need” statements. you’re not blaming the other person for not respecting your boundaries, they don’t know what your expectations are yet! tell them how you feel and how you would like to be treated.
some very important things to know and always remember while communicating your boundaries are:
- you have the right to say no and not feel guilty
- you have the right to be treated with respect
- you have the right to make your needs priority
now that you have communicated your own boundaries to others, remember to respect theirs as well! treat people how you wish to be treated. and if they haven’t communicated their boundaries to you yet, watch for non-verbal cues indicating that you’ve upset them and ask how to not upset them again.
i hope this helps and you take my advice of setting some boundaries and protecting yourself. stay safe, healthy, and kind.
(did anyone else take a shot every time i said the word boundaries?)